- Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Moving on with pain


So yesterday I was SO horny all day long, I was like OMG! OMG! I need to procreate, lol.

Then today, I feel like – who needs a guy? What for? Sex? Ppfff that’s not something I am even interested in. God! How can women deal with this stuff without getting mad? Actually, we do get mad, that was the whole point about me writing right? ‘Whateva'!

Hello guys! I'm so happy to be here with you writing about my hormones and about how crazy the world is. Today, as you have already noticed, is all about hormones – such a new topic! First of all, I want to apologize in the name of all women in the world, sorry! Uff as soon as I'm writing this, I'm like, no! I'm not sorry, this is it guys, women have different hormonal changes because we are supposed to have kids – every month we get ready for it and that's great! Is it? Oh ok, there they come, again with these mental contradictions. Does is happen to you girls? You start talking, then suddenly you realise everything you are talking about is kind of bullsh*t and you don't even believe what you’re saying? Welcome! It does happen, what can we do is accept it, forgive ourselves and carry on. Identifying these patterns can definitely help us deal with them better, you know, go with the flow, relax, calm down. Imagine if we had no hormones!? That must be boring!

I was supposed to write chapter two from the last article, right?
Hmmm ok, I do like to keep my promises.

The guy who I am in love with needed a break! Ah! We all know what that means. Obviously, you must be thinking, what a bastard! Well he is not (ok just a bit). I did break up with him several times before this happened so he was not very happy with my behavior some time ago. In a way, I haven't been the great person I thought I was. 

This is my pattern, – I start hanging out with someone who, from day one, I know is not going to be the father of my kids, but, for some unknown reason, I keep on dating that person FULLSTOP. Obviously, after a while, I end up loving that person like crazy, getting attached and wanting more and more, which sounds great! And it is, until you start creating that dependence and get angry when you don't see that person for more than three days. After this happens, I once again start thinking -OMG he is not the guy, why I have let myself fall in this situation again.  SO, rationally, I start thinking I should not be with him but emotionally I can't stop it, or maybe I don't want to stop it!! (Not sure about this bit).
Then I start playing around with the guy, saying I may not be interested to continue this, blah, blah, blah, and he starts doubting because I have doubts, and he stops trusting my love, and then we break up. HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU? I’m sure it has to some of you.

FEAR of commitment? Yeah maybe, plenty of things can happen. Also, the expectation of finding that Disney love stays... I have seen people really living the Disney love, so I want it too! 

I do believe you can love anyone but maybe if the rational side is telling you ‘this is not working’ or ‘it’s not going to work’ maybe you should not allow yourself to go there…    !

I think when it is THE GUY/ THE GIRL for you, you’ll know it! Or at least I hope so! I won't give up on this!

So the plan is. To see how it feels rationally and if the guy covers the basics then we’ll allow ourselves to fall in love. How does this sound?

Advice of today. – fall in love before you die, it is one of the most pleasurable feelings in the world, but also be ready for the pain.

Love you all, thank you for reading.


  1. Is not the right one, but it´s so much better than the others. Lets give it a try for the while.

    I sometimes think that we just do it to see that we are just one step ahead of the right one instead of two. But well, even with the problems, maybe is the best we can do :D

  2. hahah thank you Victor, really appreciate your support :)