Yes, beautiful intelligent women also struggle to have sex, (maybe not generally) but I’m talking about quality sex, sex with emotions, with connection and meaning! Sex that is beautiful, that is serious – that’s the type of sex I would like to experience, and I would like YOU to experience, every-time you have sex with someone. It’s like connecting with the universe, like becoming part of everything, becoming one person, and experiencing life in its deepest way. Ufff. It’s even hard to talk about. My whole body reacts as if I was almost there, we’re not even close really but it sounded good to say! Lol.
Most of you probably think about sex but, unfortunately the wrong type of sex – not the deep, meaningful one I’m talking about. This is for one simple reason – most people have never experienced it!
Research - The simple fact that a great percentage of women do not really enjoy sex gives me this idea (please read previous articles for references, yes read all of them! ;)). If they don’t enjoy it, they obviously haven’t tried the type of sex I’m talking about! It’s almost like tantric sex...
Not that I done tantra, but when I read Tantra Sex by Osho, it sounded how I felt when I managed to experience it!
(I could not hold myself sharing this pic, hilarious!)
This is the current situation…
The guys I like:
One wants to get married or wants nothing (understandable).
One is looking for the princess of his dreams and this is obviously not me (I know, I don't get it either!).
One hides within that horrible mask created over the years and it’s impossible to get to a deeper level (mmm, shame).
One is not in London (and does not want me to go and see him, lol).
This is...depressing, right?
Typically, the ones I don't like are up for it.
Mmm... Too many to describe, lol, just joking, obviously! And I'm serious about joking. Really! Yes really!!!!!
Then we have Tinder... Ufff, it almost makes me want to vomit! I don't really know exactly why but it’s like – I'm too lazy to go on these dates...
Bad previous experiences? Yeah maybe...but maybe also because of the false situation that is created sometimes because you are on a date. The friendship potential is gone which makes it so difficult to relax and enjoy.
So yeah, let's go back to today. This Sunday, I wanted to have a man next to me.
That makes me question myself, what am I doing wrong?
Being desperate? Hmmm, let me think about it.
Not masturbating enough? I don't think so, but maybe...
Not being so pro-active on my dating life? (Sure, for some people I'm really pro-active but in general, I'm bad compared to how pro-active I am when it comes to my career).
Not playing the game properly? I hate games!
Thinking of my love life as a goal? This notion came up this afternoon when I questioned why I feel stressed about not having a man nearby to call. It’s probably because I'm seeing it as a goal instead of a process.
One side of me wants to have someone around because, in London, life seems easier that way. On the other side, I believe it’s ok not to have someone and I would like to not need that dependency at all. Do I need it or do I just want it? I want to want it, not to need it! (Topic to think about in a deeper level, maybe in the next article I can share my thoughts).
There are several things I think I'm doing wrong. If you are, or have been in a similar situation, keep reading as you may be doing the same things wrong as well.
The question would be. What things I can do differently?
I think writing here is definitely help me out, lots! It's like a coaching session where I ask questions to find out what's happening inside someone's brain!
I need to chill a bit more about the whole situation.
Make sure I am more pro-active.
The last two makes me a bit sick as I find them VERY BORING!!!
What other things can I do? It’s probably more about my own psychology and energy and sending signals. It feels like I'm not open enough for it, (energy wise) because usually, if I want something, I get it!
I am sending something like I need you... Maybe, at least with the last guy I dated.
Follow up article suggestion: What do you do not to need it? (DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT?)
Thank you for reading folks!
Have a beautiful day/ afternoon/ night!