I have been bad. Very bad.
With men. Fuc*! Shit! Yep, Not is not about fuc*ing, or maybe it is! Awww anyway I don’t feel good about it. It feels like I have gone against my values, I have cheated myself! I have never believed in cheating and I have always said the truth, whatever it is. I have been influenced by many people. MY MUM. She is all over my head more than I would like sometimes. I don’t think cheating is good, that’s true, that’s what I think, that’s how I feel. Yes I have done it, a few times, against my values. But wait a minute, is this right?
What are my values?
There is a new side of me, a new side that says: Live the present and live it fully, whatever that means. And another one that says: Sometimes you don’t need to say everything, especially if it’s going to hurt somebody (That's more like the voice of my friends which I have never been too sure about).
How natural is it to stick with one person? I think it’s VERY natural when it happens naturally. What I mean is, sometimes it happens and you don’t have to force it, or make it happen. It just happens, and it’s beautiful. But sometimes it doesn’t. Usually when this happens, I believe it’s because the person you are with is not THAT person whom normally it would happen just by going with the flow.
But then another side of me says: Tell them if you feel that way. Normally, if I’m able to tell someone how I feel, it’s because I trust them enough to do so and, if this is the situation, I will probably never feel like cheating on them! SO…? Yep -It has not exit! (or that's what I want to tell myself). Anyway, welcome to my world of contradictions and unanswered questions.
If you are one of these people who live fully, who lives for the present but have old mental values that somehow you still want to keep, just think this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And! I don’t like to be calm because there are more weirdos out there just like me, but I actually am. Ah! Again, welcome to the latest human being stuff.
Sometimes looking for answers is not the answer; instead you have to observe the questions.
Have a beautiful life.
PS. Please do not believe 100% my stories in this blog (And in any blog your read! ;) ), sometimes writers use their creativity and imagination to write! It's not about what is about but about YOU!
THANK YOU FOR READING!
(Forgive yourself and CarryOn)